skipped last month

so we skipped our cycle last month...our dear dog, Ruby, got really really sick and there was a real risk of losing her. We followed the advise of our doctor and skipped the cycle, knowing that it could have been on the right side but also knowing that the stress could really effect my ability to conceive.

we are, however, going ahead this month. I am on a higher dose of clomid to see if that will help induce more follicles. So...the plan is this: Friday we head to Medford again for an ultrasound to see which side the follicles are on (sending major vibes to my right ovary!) if, hopefully when, they are on the Right side then we will get instructions on when to do the trigger shot. I am not looking forward to this...Shorty is going to have to give it to me but she says that may cause a fight lol. Then, 24 or 36 hours after the shot (im not exactly sure of the timing but sometime on Sunday) we will go back to the doctor to do the IUI with hopes that with the trigger shot we aren't guessing about when i will ovulate and our timing will be perfect! phew...I promised Shorty that i am going to be working VERY VERY hard to not freak out if the follicles are on the left. She doesn't believe that i can do it lol but I am going to try. I think the month off really was good for me, both emotionally and physically. It got us out of the 2 week segment mentality and just gave me time to relax.

I have pretty much given in to the fact that there is a very real chance that I will never carry a child. I am sad about that but I think once we have a child, whether Shorty carries or we adopt, that feeling will go away. This, I think, is my last month of trying. Besides the expense the emotions are getting hard on me. When we have the money to purchase more sperm, we will try Shorty then. She may get pregnant the first time...who knows :-)