2nd Big Fat Negative...

It was negative...again. This is very disappointing, disheartening, discouraging...you get the idea. We said we will try up to 5 times, and I think we didn't think it would take that long. Two weeks will be try #3 (officially for me for all the times I have tried plus the times we have tried with surro-try #11). I have had 10 negatives over the course of several years...I don't know how many more I can take. Each time we have a negative we discuss what our other options are, this time we feel like we have crossed one more option off the list. We aren't giving up-I don't think. Correction, we aren't going to stop trying but I'm not sure that we haven't given up. Shorty said she hates the feeling of spending money and not getting anything in return. I can't help but think with each negative about how much money we have put into trying to have a baby with nothing to show. We both want a newborn and don't want to miss out on those amazing years, I think that's why we keep trying. Adopting a newborn is crazy expensive, like 20k-30k! ugh...ok enough whining for now. I will keep the posts coming if anything changes or when the next attempt happens

waiting but....

well, we are waiting until "the bitch" actually arrives, but not looking good. We had a "faint positive" 7.5 dpo, but apparently got more faint then basically nothing. I am holding out hope but feeling devastated at the same time. I think the hardest part for me is when everything is "perfect" and we still aren't pregnant, I can't imagine what could be going wrong. Maybe we aren't meant to have a newborn? We aren't giving up, we still have 3 tries left before the contract runs out and we move on. I wouldn't mind trying IVF it it wasn't so damned expensive! We can even get donor embryos...but we can also look into adoption. Again, that would mean no newborn probably because that is crazy expensive too! ok...I might be done venting....maybe...

I usually hate Monday's

I am not a fan of Monday usually. It means I have to wait an entire week to get a day that I don't have to be at work/school. But this week is different. Monday is a ginormous day for us! IUI #2 is Monday morning! This time we had 2 follicles, count them 2, that were both 21mm!!! Amazing! Now Guido...I am sure his swimmers can find their way to one or both of those eggs and do their thing :-) I will miss the IUI again but Shorty will be there and I will be there in spirit, thoughts, hopes etc. Also on Monday-we will find out if our offer was accepted on a house! I know we said we weren't going to try to get pregnant and buy a house at the same time but since it isn't me trying to get knocked up it seems like it's ok to put that stress on us. The house we found is great! Move in ready, which I love. We don't even have to paint because we love the colors :-) The few things that we will do are want to do rather than need to do, and they aren't expensive projects but will greatly improve the resale value of the house. Let's hope this TWW goes by quickly because we are worrying about house stuff and not even thinking about how long it has been since IUI!