Tony has been ordered

Today is an exciting day I just got off the phone with the sperm bank and I was told there was only 4 left of him ( I didn't like saying sperm I thought it was so informal so I named our donor Tony) So I ordered our vial of him and it is set to be delivered on the 5th of March so we could possibly inseminating on the 6th which means we are entering the two week zone anyone that is not familiar with the two week zone it goes as this you start your cycle two weeks you inseminate two weeks you test if you get a positive your done with two weeks but if you get a nasty negative you start all over. We have had our share of two weeks zones we are ready for the wonderful positive I know we will get one this time I can just feel it. No our kids name isn't going to be Tony if it is a boy his name is going to be Bennett Eric Ogden-Moles and if it's a girl Audrey Carolyn Ogden-Moles and we have back ups if we get twins of the same sex. I have been guarding myself from being overly excited but that just blew out the window something about ordering it and knowing when the ultrasound is gets you giddy like a school girl crushing on her all time crush. I am officially 200% excited and ready to get this baby growing

The bitch...

The bitch is what Layla and Joy call their periods. It is fun to say "the bitch has invaded" or "the bitch has arrived" hahaha. So...the bitch arrived yesterday! woohoo!!! Clomid then should start tomorrow and that means we really are 2 weeks away from our first IUI!!

Contracts

Ok, so the draft of the contract came on Friday. It is 20 pages long! There was a lot of stuff in there that didn't need to be in there, or needs to be changed. Changing attorneys sort of in the middle was a bit more of a pain than I expected. I went through and made notes about things to change then Joy called and we spent two hours going through it together making changes. It was rough. I am supposed to talk to the lawyer Thursday to go over what we want done and then she can hopefully have it back to us by early next week so we can get signatures and everything before IUI. Joy's appointment went well Monday. Everything is a go :-) Her Dr asked how many tries it took to get pregnant with her son and she said, ONE! with a huge grin. He said, don't expect to be so lucky this time :-( boo don't be such a downer! We are fully planning on getting pregnant the first time. It's cheaper, faster, and we will get a baby in 2013, it's perfect! As soon as we are all ok with contracts and they are signed, then it is on to IUI. I am planning on ordering "Tony" (oh btw that is what Shorty has coined our donor as!) early next week. That is a huge deal to get that ordered and shipped. I am potentially, hopefully, basically ordering our baby!! lol

Just an update

So we received the contracts from the lawyer and thank god that Kandi likes to read those kind of things and wants to know all the details because I would still be reading them and scratching my head wondering what the hell it all meant. I will tell you if you haven't seen a seragent contract it can be really scary. I am thankful we all had talked and agreeded on what the requirements would be before all of this because I would have freaked if we would have gotten contracts first. I mean money here and there for this and that I understand that people need to get paid for certain things but I started to freak out that we wouldn't be able to afford this and once again our dream of being a parent would be on hold again. but no we are still in agreeance  and we can have certain things removed from the contract. It is so crazy I am so ready to have that positive test and ready to start the count down until our first mothers day of 2 legged non fur kids and I try not to think that something is going to stop us from getting to the end with a baby I just want it now.
We got news today that all systems are go we are just waiting for the cycle to begin so it is getting closer to insemination day I walk around with a little ball knot in my stomach knowing the day keeps getting closer and closer but then it will be here done and then that little ball knot will be the size of a football for 10 days waiting to know if we are parents to be. Thank you to all of you who are following this blog and sharing our journey with us. I am already coming up with ideas for our pregnancy positive pictures.

moving forward

Ok, it is Thursday and tomorrow is our deadline from the lawyer to receive the draft of our surrogate contracts. This is a big deal!! I am so excited to get the formal contract and make things legally official! This is just crazy to me...on Monday Joy goes to her Dr's appt and will get her check-up and the final ok. She will also get her Rx for clomid and the trigger shot. Clomid starts on day 3 of her cycle which could begin as early as Tuesday or Wednesday! 2 weeks from IUI and 4 weeks from HPT (home pregnancy test for those that don't understand my acronyms lol) After all the discussion, the months of "negotiations" and talks with Joy and Layla about if this was the right thing to do...and the time is finally here. We are moving forward with surrogacy and our journey to make a baby. This journey has now been...maybe a year long...I can't quite remember because time seems to just fly by. Our journey is like so many others, and yet it is so unique to us at the same time. None of us know what is going to happen, how long this will take, or even how any of us will feel during and after the journey. All I know is that there is more love going into making this child than most children will experience in a lifetime. There are technically at least 5 people involved in making this baby. Shorty, me, Joy, Layla and our sperm donor. And if you want to count the attorney, the dr...it not only takes a village to raise a child, but in our case it takes a village just to make one. Fingers crossed for us, send us baby vibes over the next month, and keep us in your thoughts as this journey gets officially underway!

This and that

Ok I just want to tell Brianna Patlow your a jerk. I have been telling Kandi no shopping not until the we get a positive pregnancy test. Because with her looking leads to putiting things in carts which leads to buying which leads to more buying lol. Well yesterday Brianna says hey you need to look at this site they are having a killer sale. So I reluctantly went to the site she was right they were having a killer sale and I put $30.00 worth of stuff in my cart now I didn't buy because I was told if I buy she gets to. Now I want to shop Jerk (Brianna) lol.
Today I got the news that our paperwork was getting started. I can't believe we are one step closer to getting this journey underway. Part of me wants to jump out of my skin and scream with excitement but the other half knows the pain of being let down so I guess I am being reserved until we actually start. I have started looking at different things and wondering how I would handle them when asked by our child. I know that is so far down the road but I still think about it. I know Kandi is jumping and I don't want anyone to think that I am not equally as happy because I am I just waiting a bit. I can't believe that my amazing wife and I might have a family here in months. I can't believe that I will get to raise a child with this wonderful amazing women. I believe we will raise one hell of a kid with a great personality. I can't wait for us to be parents I really can't. I can't wait to hold our baby in my arms and no that no one can take him/her away from me that we are bonded for life. I can't wait to teach them the importance of family and how loved they are by us and that they can do anything they set their minds to. As much as I am going to enjoy seeing who they turn out to be I will cherish all the little moments along the way to them getting there.
I haven't said much to Joy straight on only through Kandi since they talk a lot more. But Joy I don't even know how to begin to tell you how much this means to me. Ever since I was a kid I wanted to me a mom. I dreamed about it talked with my sisters about it my friends and we even came up with the names we would name them. I had a really hard life with abuse and I always swore that when I had a child that child would never know one single ounce of the pain I felt and that their life would be showered with love, support, guidance, and whatever they needed at no time would they feel alone. When I discovered I was gay I didn't know if I would ever get the dream of mother hood since I knew it would be harder to achieve. I also thought that I would have to be married with a partner in order to even consider that option. After several failed relationships I decided to go it alone and tried to get pregnant both times ending in miscarriage. That is devastating and I didn't know how I would get through it but I did with time. My PTSD requires me to be on a ton of meds that I would have to come off of if I were to try to get pregnant again. Which we are both scared about. After the last miscarriage my cycle has been off they tell me that I can carry but I don't think I am even ovulating. Each time Kandi and  I tried or had to go to Medford to the DR our journey over would be full of excitement and talk of baby and our dreams and each time on our way back would be tears and sadness. I hated not being able to help or do something to make Kandi feel better. We started to think of life without a child and that is when we put out our last plea to help us and that is when you came along and made our lives turn upside down. It takes a special kind of person that is willing to give us a gift of life a gift without them would not be attainable a dream that would just be a dream. I have been let down and hurt so many times by people I tend to lose faith in humanity at times. but this, this not only restores my faith but it is going to allow me to realize my dream of being a mom. Now I know there are no guarantees but at least I once again have hope. I don't know how we can ever repay you for this but I want you to know that I love you with all my soul for going on this journey with us. You are special and all I can say is Thank you.

Lawyer...check!

So we had a little (teeny tiny) scare yesterday when the attorney's office called to say that the attorney I had been working with had been appointed to Judge since we last spoke. So I spoke to the new attorney today and she said we could find a new attorney or stick with the same firm just under a different name. Phew...I thought it was going to be something bigger and cause a headache! But no, it was just a conversation that needed to be had, not anything that needed to change. That means the contracts are underway!!! We should have the draft to us in a week, 2 at the most. After talking to the new attorney, and her saying yes we are still good to move forward and your timeline is fine...I was fighting back tears. This is very surreal for me right now. I know we have been here before....planning for a pregnancy etc. but this is somehow different. I think bc Joy (our surrogate in case I have just been caller her "the surrogate") has already produced 2 babies, we know she can do it and actually got pregnant easily with her first one. This is why it's different, this is why I am exploding inside right now. It is very conceivable (hahaha pun intended) that 7 weeks from now we will get a call that there is a + pregnancy test....I can't wait! I also know that it may take a few tries, been there before. But if I wasn't this excited about it...well that just wouldn't be right! lol I know that a lot of people say you should wait until you are out of the woods to tell people but even then it isn't for sure unfortunately. And, honestly, I just don't think there will be any containing Shorty and my excitement when we find out! We might...might be able to contain ourselves from blogging about it for a few weeks and just keep it to our family and friends...but probably not...and certainly not the 12 weeks!